Frequently Asked Questions
What
What’s a death doula?
Doulas provide all non-medical care for people as they go through life transitions. You may be more familiar with the role of a birth doula. Here at Tilde, we care for people for people in any life stage, with a focus on the end of life, and with an awareness and humility toward death woven into everything we do.
Also known as End Of Life Doulas, we educate, advocate for, and empower clients to begin the conversation about dying early and embrace all that comes with it. Read more about our end of life care services here.
Why do you do this work — isn’t it sad?
Yes, it is very sad. It’s also inspiring and joyful. Just like in life, this work has the easy, the hard, and everything in between.
Is death doula a new role? I’ve never heard of it before.
Walking alongside people through the end of their lives is a role that humans have filled throughout history — with or without training! You may have done it yourself already. We are all able and worthy to do this work. There are also many cultures that have traditional death customs and roles, and so we sleep well knowing that many people are in caring hands.
What sets us apart is our knowledge about services and options you may want to explore; our formal training; and a comfort in sitting with the inevitable and unknown.
What are your certifications?
Most importantly, our founder Jordan is a contemplative human on this earth and we strongly believe we’re all just walking each other home.
She also has her Master of Social Work, specializing in gerontology. She completed the Institute of Traditional Medicine’s Contemplative End of Life Care Program, and has training in Grief Literacy, Advanced Care Planning, and Complicated Grief, along with the associated training for volunteers at Kensington Hospice and Home Hospice Association. Jordan is also a breath guide with anti-oppressive and trauma-informed training from the Breath Liberation Society. She is lifelong asker and experimenter, trying many approaches on for size and keeping what works.
What does Tilde mean and how do you pronounce it?
Tilde /till-duh/ is a short-form for ‘til death, which captures the essence of life itself. We’re here, learning, experimenting, and figuring it all out ‘til death. It also speaks to all the life stages in which we can care for you - we’ll even be there after death through funeral and memorial planning, if you so choose.
Tilde is also the name for the ~ sign, which means approximate. We find this fitting because we can put all of our best plans into place but life will always have a say. The same goes for death. We often remind our clients that as we plan and prepare, we’re hoping to get as close to the ideal scenario, but that ultimately the result will likely be an approximation. Such is life!
What’s the difference between Tilde’s end-of-life services and those of a nurse/doctor?
At Tilde, we leave the medical care to your medical team. However, we work collaboratively with them when needed. Our work together might look like reconciling your relationships and your life accomplishments, having conversations about dying, changing your physical space to better serve your needs, planning, stress and anxiety management, life reviews and reflections…the list goes on. Our services are truly as unique as you are, so book a consultation and we can come up with a plan that meets your needs as a human who lives and loves in this life.
Who
Do I need to be dying to access your services?
No. Our services are for everybody. Our advanced care planning sessions, contemplation services, and life care therapy can be accessed as early as 18 years old, while our death care and planning services can begin whenever your death becomes foreseeable.
My relative needs care but isn’t interested yet. Can I contact you on their behalf?
Book a consultation and we can discuss. You reaching out to access services shows you care and ideally your relative is on board. If they still aren’t interested in our services, we can support you, as you support them.
Thinking about death makes me feel really anxious. Are your services for me?
Yes. We believe in the importance of bringing the scary things out into the open. Hopefully, with time, they’ll become less scary as you put words to them, imagine them, maybe even experience a small piece of them. We’ll use a blend of mindfulness strategies to help you navigate any strong emotions that arise.
Sometimes, pushing yourself is a good thing. We’ve seen some brave people come through our metaphorical doors. But it’s important for you to decide how much discomfort you can handle. Either way, you’ve taken a big first step in coming here — so good job.
I'm really comfortable thinking about death. Are your services for me?
Yes. We’re happy to hear these thoughts come with ease. We can support you through our contemplations that will expand and shift your perspective, our planning sessions for that inevitable future, and our care services for both life and death.
Will I hasten my death if I talk about it?
No. We cannot control the timing of death, for better or worse. Talking about it will not make it happen any faster or slower. What may happen: less fear, more understanding, and a greater appreciation for life.
Can Tilde help with suicidal thoughts?
We can explore the existential questions of being a human on this planet. Together we can mull over thoughts about death and dying with the understanding that these thoughts come and go. But if you tell us that you’re actively considering dying by suicide, we will try to keep you here, just like any mental health professional. If needed, we will connect you with crisis mental health support.
Do you support people accessing MAID?
Yes, whole-heartedly. Just let us know during the consultation and we can discuss how to best support you.
How
What’s your cancellation policy?
We don’t offer refunds but we can reschedule your session (one time only). Please give at least 24 hours notice as Jordan is a Virgo and thus needs time to adjust to changes in plan.
Do you have any in-person events?
All public group events are currently online, over zoom. But we understand the importance of real life presence so we are open to distanced, vaccinated events in the coming days. Please let us know if you’re interested and we can look into a safe protocol.
For private care services and planning, we’re open to in-person work. Just let us know during the consultation.
Why a phone consultation before I purchase Care services?
We suggest a phone consultation before purchasing life care or death care services so that we can better understand your unique needs and we can co-develop a plan moving forward.
I bought tickets but didn’t receive any further instructions. What’s the next step?
Public Events: Consider yourself attending! We will touch base several days before the event with all the necessary info. If you haven’t received anything 24 hours before, please email Jordan at jordan@tildecare.com
Private Events and Services: We will reach out within 2-3 days with a link to book your service.